I am missing you so much today. Some days are just harder than others and today is hard. I'm not sure exactly why. I was talking with someone today and I was telling her about you and I just burst into tears. Some days I can talk about you and smile and then on days like today, I miss you so much that all I can do is cry. I hate crying because I know that you would tell me to suck it up and deal. I wish it was that easy!
I remember having such a hard time at your memorial service because your friends decided to wear their sunglasses on their heads in honor of you. No one bothered to warn us and I saw you everywhere I turned. It was a really sweet and thoughtful gesture but it really threw me. For the first six months, I saw you in every bald headed guy wearing sunglasses on his head. It took my breath away every single time. At some point, I was able to look past that but lately, it's started happening again. I could have sworn that I saw you out of the corner of my eye the other day. My heart skipped a beat and I almost gave the guy a hug. Thank God I looked closely before I reacted. I hate the tricks that your heart plays on your mind. Oh how I wish that it had been you!
Missing you just stinks. There is so much going on in my life that I would love to share with you. It's just not going to happen and I hate that. I know that you would be happy for me. I wish that I could see you with the boys one more time but I know in my heart that once just wouldn't be enough. I just miss you!
I love you, love you, love you and miss you, miss you, miss you! Close
Eight years ago today, our sweet little princess went to rest in the arms of an angel. I remember the day just like it was yesterday. It's something that I will never forget. I've tried not to dwell too much on the day or date because honestly, there is a void in our lives every single day. One day isn't worse than another. They're all the same. Somehow you just learn to live with the pain. Everyone says that it gets easier but it doesn't. You just learn how to live with it. It's not easier because there are still many times that the raw pain just reaches up and grabs you.
Jimmy, I know that you are holding Destiny for me. I hope that you are telling her all about her brothers. Give her a big ole slice of ice cream cake and let her make a huge mess. I know you'll get a kick out of that. Most importantly, kiss her and hug her tight. Tell her that her Mommy loves her and misses her.
I miss you, too. There isn't a single minute that passes that I don't wish that you were still here. My life has changed so much since you've been gone. I would give it all back for just one more day with you. This life will be gone in a flash though and I know you'll be there with that million dollar smile, just waiting.
The boys helped me with your website this mornng. They always complain that it's too girly. So, I allowed them to help me pick out graphics. If they had their way, I am afraid that your memorial would be more about Larry the Cable Guy than you. Hehe. I would pick two graphics that I liked and give them a choice of the two. It seemed to satisfy them. I am hoping that one day, they will take this over. It's been really good therapy for me but considering it's here for life, someone will have to maintain it. They are getting better and better at it. The cowboy borders are definitely from them. I know you'd get a kick out of those. The music will always be a reflection of my heart. I can't help that. Trevor actually tries to convince me to change the music from time to time and the song that is playing now is one of his favorites. I hope that anyone that visits this site can see how truly loved you are.
The last few weeks have been hard. Your birthday was difficult but 4th of July is almost harder. I think that was one of your favorite holidays. I know I have lots of summer memories of you that I treasure. I keep plugging along though, knowing that you would want me to LIVE and be as crazy as you were. Heaven help me. Your nephews have your genes!
We're leaving in a few days for vacation. We'll be camping part of the time and at a resort part of the time. Believe it or not, I am looking forward to camping and dreading the resort. <Gasp!> I've really changed since you left this Earth. I have no desire to be caught up in this world. My treasures are in Heaven and I have found that the fewer distractions I have in life (hustle and bustle), the more I can concentrate on just that! I am soaking up my family and witnessing the beauty that God has created right before my eyes. It doesn't hurt that we'll be camping in the beautiful mountains, right on a creek. Doesn't that sound Heavenly. Probably not to you, huh?
I've gotta go. The boys have wandered off and we know that means trouble. I'm sure that there is something that needs rescueing.
Happy Birthday James / Denise Kneale (connected by angels )Read >>
Happy Birthday James / Denise Kneale (connected by angels ) Happy Birthday James, hope you have a great day with all the other Angels. Stay close to your dear family, so they may feel the peace you feel. Love and Blessings Denise mum to James: http://james-kneale.memory-of.comClose
Sending lots and lots of love to you in Heaven Jimmy. I am sure the Heavenly birthdays are the very best, but I know your family wish you were here to celebrate your special day with them. So be close to them and let them feel the love that you have for them today and always. Be especially close to my dear friend Stephanie, you know she is very special to me in so many ways, and it hurts me to know she hurts so much. Give her some special birthday hugs. Love to you both, Rosemary xoxo
Sending much strength 4 you Stephanie.... / Shelly Alwayskennysmom Dear Big Sister Stephanie...Im thinking of you today,your Jimmys birthday..his images will stay with me all day.You've created a lovely memorial-site for him,Im sure he is so proud of you.My daughter,Amy also created my son Kennys site..Im so very sorry for your loss of Jimmy.I can tell how very much you love & miss him.Im hoping you will have many friends surrounding you today....remembering...never forgetting someone so Dear.As days...months...& now years...I know,we wonder..."how we can go on living without them"...I wonder every single day,too.Im going to keep you both close & hope its a good day for you.Sending much love & strength,always.....Shelly xo mom to Kenny BrisbyClose
your beautiful smile your sparkling blue eyes your little boy voice your manly voice the feel of your hugs the touch of your hands seeing you attached to your phone seeing you in your truck seeing you on your tractor seeing you on your bob cat seeing you with the boys seeing you with Hershey hearing your laugh getting your phone calls seeing your face your teasing your serious advice I miss.... YOU! Close
There is so much going on my life right now. I feel like someone hit the fast forward button on my life. It's not long though before they slip and hit pause. The pause comes when I realize that you really are gone. It still brings that stabbing pain that takes my breath away. It's during those times that I truly have to focus and try to remember the good times. My favorite memories are of you with the boys. I know how much you loved them and how very happy they were to be with you. I also know that you wouldn't want me to dwell on the fact that you are no longer here. You would want me to keep the boys happy and shower all of your love on them. I'll never understand why I am outliving you but I can promise you that your life and death has changed me. It's brought me closer to God, to my family and to my true friends.
There is something amazing that has happened in my life. I don't need to tell you about it because I know that you sit at the feet of our Glorious God as He preforms His miracles. I can only imagine- truly! I really wish that you could be here to experience this with us but I know that you're in the very best place.
We're counting down to your birthday. I'd ask what you want but in my heart I know that you have all that you could ever want. If you could have one wish it would probably be for us to reach out and help someone else. I try to do that in honor of you but as I sit here and write to you, I realize that I should probably try to find someone to help specifically in honor of your birthday.
I'll never forget the miracle of you. I remember when Mom found out that she was expecting you. It caught her off guard as she had lost all hope of having another child. I remember how important it was for Dad and Mom to have a boy and I'll never forget finding out that you were in fact, a boy. I remember the baby shower that was held in honor and celebration of your impending birth. I also remember when Mom was placed on bed rest and Tina and I were sent away. We came home to the most amazingly adorable cherub. I immediately fell in love with you. As I look back through all of the pictures for reassurance that your short life wasn't a dream, I see the proof. You were real and the love that we share was evident in every single snap shot. I recently found a picture of the two of us. I didn't look extremely happy but you were right there with your arm around me with a smile on your face. God only knows how much I miss that. I will forever long to see your smile and the sparkle in your eyes. I miss you, Jimmy.
I know that your birthday will be outstanding. You are in the best party place. I'm sure that the date of your earthly birth certainly isn't as noteworthy as the date of your heavenly birth. We do our best to celebrate both, all while aching to be with you again. It is THAT HOPE that sustains us.
I have been cleaning and organizing (yes, I know it's summer and not spring!) and I have found more pictures of you! I found a really good one that I took of you and Chase on your tractor.I feel like I've won the lotto! I know that you used to hate my camera in your face but I am so thankful for these pictures.
I had a really rough week. We found out about Olivia on Thursday morning and then later that afternoon Trevor got a call from one of his guys. He had a really bad accident involving a Mother and her two children. The Mother and children were flown out to Tampa General and Fish was taken by ambulance. We were told that the Mother and children were critcal but stable. It took 24 hours to find out how they really were. Thankfully they will all survive. Trevor said that the accident was really bad. Thursday was a really BAD day for me. I had to relive live losing Destiny and losing you all in the same day. I know that it was just as difficult for Trevor. Thankfully it wasn't worse!
Forrest is at Blizzard Beach with friends this weekend. Watch over him, please. You were his role model and you taught him to be fearless. Why? You know that I've had to start completely dying my hair to cover all of the grey?! Forrest is finally calming down just a little but I worry about him driving. I know he has two more years before he can even get his permit but you know how I worry about worrying. Chase is the most laid back and cautious of the three boys. Brent is just a whirlwind. I don't know how we will ever survive his teenaged years. I'm having a hard time surviving him now. All I can ask is that you help out. You've set the standard and I just can't keep up.
Trevor and I have been talking about what to do for your birthday. We're still not sure but you can bet that there will be balloons involved.
I have better go. Chase and Brent just got in the pool and Trevor is mowing.
I don't know how I will ever repair this broken heart. I can't find all of the missing pieces and at this point, I'm ready to throw in the towel.
I found out this morning that Trevor's cousin, April, lost her baby girl. She was born way too early. They named her Olivia. Of course, hearing this news brought a flood of emotions and memories. It's bothered me all day. I want to be there for Paul and April but how on Earth can I be when I am a mess myself.
I know that you must be having a blast with Destiny. I can almost hear her giggles as the two of you play. I am so glad that the two of you are together but it doesn't make me stop wishing that you were both here.
Jimmy, I hope that you will find Olivia and watch over her until Paul and April can get there. I know the pain that they are feeling and I wish with every fiber of my being that I could take it all away.
Just thinking about you Stephanie / Sandy Silcox BJ Brown's Sister Read >>
Just thinking about you Stephanie / Sandy Silcox BJ Brown's Sister Stephanie, I was just thinking about you today. I finally got my slow old computer to load Jimmy's page. You have done a wonderful job on his page, I only hope BJ's looks as good as time passes. Jimmy was a very hansome young man, he looks mischevious in lots of the pictures ,just like BJ does in his pictures. I'm sure that Jimmy & BJ have met up in Heaven and are having a blast. It is really hard...and I understand what you are feeling. I have had a very bad week, work is just BAD!!! I miss BJ every hour of every day. It just seems like to much to handle sometimes doesn't it. Any way I am here if you need to vent, I will be praying for you and your family. GOD BLESS YOU!!! Sandy Silcox (BJ BROWN' Big Sis)Close
Happy Birthday / Sonia Michalak James what a beautiful angel you are, May the good Lord hear my prayers for you and your family.Happy Birthday I brought the cake ok. Matts Mom Close
Jimmy this one is for Stephanie / Rosemary Read >>
Jimmy this one is for Stephanie / Rosemary
This one is for you Stephanie, I know Jimmy would agree you deserve it much. You are one of the best friends a brother or a friend (me) could ever have. I love you dearly and a friend you will always be. Wishing you a good day today. Rosemary xoxo
Tributes and Condolences
Chase is the most laid back and cautious of the three boys. Brent is just a whirlwind. I don't know how we will ever survive his teenaged years. I'm having a hard time surviving him now. All I can ask is that you help out. You've set the standard and I just can't keep up. 
James what a 
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